Hi everyone!
It was fantastic to meet those of you who joined The Tired Mums Society October Brunch, I am so sorry that I didn’t get to chat with everyone more. A big thank you to all who purchased a book from me, I have had multiple orders since seeing you all which is just incredible. Your support means the entire world to me.
A big thank you to Adele and Gina for having me too!
I appreciate that your postpartum recovery seems like the last thing on your mind, you are focused on being mums and surviving these first few months. However, your postpartum recovery is often far longer than any pregnancy and birth, you need to try to put in steps and have resources at your disposal so that if the low days come you have resources to help you.
Birth isn't the end goal and by focusing on your mental wellbeing and confronting how you feel and what you have been through you will be a better mum long term.
So, below are my top wellbeing tips for your postpartum recovery, mum hacks and a reminder as to why you should consider journaling through post birth.
Why is it good to journal through your postpartum recovery?
Journaling can offer an emotional release, it can allow you to preserve precious memories, celebrate achievements, problem solve and grow personally. It doesn’t have to just be about recording negative things, you may use it as a feeding diary; to record naps, I even have a friend who uses it to write letters to her children for when they are older.
Overall, journaling is a powerful tool for self-discovery, self-expression, and self-care. Whether you're seeking clarity, healing, or personal growth, the act of journaling can empower you to cultivate a deeper connection with yourself and live a more fulfilling happier life.
It gives you a space to eject negative thoughts out of your head and on to paper without fear of judgement.
It will help you come to terms with what has happened and deal with past traumas even prior to birth.
Journaling can give you confidence in yourself to stand taller, speak louder and be a happier person.
It can reduce stress and help anxiety.
It gives you a space to plan your next steps and your future with a new little person and allow you to reclaim your identity
My postpartum wellbeing tips
Wash the day away and do some self care – This can help with overwhelm, anxiety and help you ground yourself again back to being you.
Set boundaries: remember its ok to say no to things you don’t want to do. Protect your peace and remember, if it costs you your mental health then it’s too expensive.
Communicate: It may feel scary but speaking from the heart and about your worries will really help. People aren’t mind readers, understanding why you feel as you do and communicating it is so important. It will build bridges and save so many arguments or hurt in the long run.
Get support: Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength. Give your loved one’s tasks, most people want to help and are desperate to support you. So, ask for it, we were never meant to do it alone.
Prioritise ‘you time’: As you find a new normal with having a baby in the house your priorities change and often you lose yourself. Many mums struggle to find time for themselves and feel their needs need to come last. Find at least 30 minutes in each day just for you, take a walk, get your hair done, go to the gym, do a hobby. Whatever makes you happy. If you struggle with 30 minutes daily, start with less time or try a few times a week. Slowly you will find yourself again. It is important we show our children what lights us up inside, by looking after yourself you will be a better mum.
Lower your expectations and standards: I know this is hard, I have been there! But trust me when I say housework can wait, the world won't end if you don't clean the cooker. Your standards don’t have be the same as they we pre children and that is ok. Your family and friends are there to support you not to see if your skirting boards are clean or if the washing up has been put away.
Journal: Writing down your feelings, your hopes, your concerns and anything you are grateful for can be a healthy way of understanding what you are going through and what you need.
Take a social media break: It can be harmful to consistently compare yourself to others. No one's life is perfect, and no one has the perfect child who never cries and sleeps like an angel. Don’t let the comparison of other people’s lives steal your joy.
Let go of the guilt: It's ok to have a beige meal here and there, it's ok to relax during nap time and it's ok to leave the life admin an extra day or two or till next week. Let go of the guilt and look after you. Whilst my son still napped, every Friday when it is our day together and he would go down for a nap, I get in to bed and re charge, it’s a wonderful pleasure that I learnt to prioritise and not feel guilty for! How I already miss that time!
Trade negative thoughts for positive ones: Often our first thoughts can be negative, and they can’t be stopped. But every time you say something negative about yourself, back it up with something positive about yourself instead.
Get outside: Just getting out for half an hour can boost your endorphins and make the world seem a little less bleak. If you feel up to it, head to a baby class or mums group, there are always people you can chat to and relate to.
As women we need to remember to be kind to ourselves and one another. Remember you are adjusting to a whole new life, it takes time. There will be days where you ace it and days where you don’t. Really try to prioritise your mental wellbeing, it may seem unimportant, but it is the most important thing you can do.
My top hacks for making life a little easier with a newborn
These are tried and tested hacks from mums who have been there in the trenches of the newborn days, you will find more within the journal:
Slow Cooker
Invest in a slow cooker, once your baby is down you will have a hot meal that involves limited prep. Check out The Batch Lady, she has some great tips and recipes that can go in the freezer. You prep the meal in a zip lock bag, freeze it and then get it out, stick it in the slow cooker and bang… an easy hot meal with some meals even then prepped again for the future.
Frustration
If baby is very distressed or frustrated try getting outside or stick them in the bath - the change of scenery does wonders.
Separation Anxiety
Sleep with their cot sheet for a night or two to help with separation anxiety.
Breathing Together
If you or your baby are feeling really overwhelmed, try deep Belly breathing whilst you hold them, it can really help calm you both and they will match your breathing and heart rate.
Oat Baths
An oat bath can be brilliant for calming itchy skin with chicken pox or eczema, they can soothe sore or red bottoms and many other skin irritations. Try adding half a cup of oats to a clean sock, tie it around the tap and run the bath water through it. Beware of any allergies!
Bath Toys
Seal bath toys with glue to stop water going stale inside them.
Motherhood is one of the most spectacular journeys you can go on, I am so envious of you all starting from the beginning adventure or adding to your clan. You have so many amazing wonderful happy times ahead.
Remember, most women don’t get postpartum depression or anxiety, and most don’t even get the baby blues. Regardless of all of that however, the best thing you can do for you is to look after yourself and find time for you. Some days you may feel lost but overall, your journey through motherhood will be filled with magic and joy.
You can find more tips, tricks, hacks and advice on my Instagram @theparentalmindset
If any more of you wanted to buy a copy of my book it is available online via the links below, and many other online retailers:
Sending you all so much love and happiness. Should you ever feel the need to want to reach out to chat to me, my DMs on Instagram are always open. No one ever has to do this alone.
Annie x
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